wake up
by clever.user.name22
Summary: A look at Santana and Brittany's relationship as it begins, rated T just in case for suggested activities Wankyyyy I own nothing of course. Planned as a three shot as of right now, may change.
1. Chapter 1

The first time it happened she quietly wrote it off as simple human nature and told herself it wasn't a big deal. She didn't pause to think if it would happen again, because it definitely wouldn't. The second time it happened she tried to keep her mind blank as she quickly and efficiently found and pulled on her clothes scattered around the room. She vaguely remembers thinking "fool me twice right?" as she left without a word. The door clicking shut behind her the only goodbye given. By the third time she was cursing herself and trying not to believe it. She was confused honestly, was three enough to make it a habit, or was it still considered an accident? She found herself spending more time watching the sunlight stream through the curtains showing her the mistake she had repeated before getting up to get her clothes on. The fourth time she awoke to the now familiar feel of blue cotton sheets that were decidedly not hers under her bare skin, she has to admit she considered turning back over and going back to sleep. A groggy "San" escaping from the body beside her made the decision for her. She puffed out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding before sitting up and getting to the practiced routine from the three times before. This time however it went a lot slower and she felt like her whole body was weighed down with some unnamed force pulling her back to the sun soaked bed with the blonde. The more times it happened the longer it took her to get out of bed and leave, until one day she didn't get up and run.


	2. Chapter 2

Contrary to what everybody believes, I am not stupid. I knew from the beginning she was scared so it really shouldn't have surprised me when she wasn't lying next to me the first morning after. Being best friends for so long ensured that I knew her, I knew the way she worked the way she would shut down and run when something truly terrified her. Yet she kept surprising me. I was sure I would never get the chance to have her completely, I was sure it was just a silly fantasy and it would never happen, but it did. That first time I lay awake watching her sleep, until exhaustion pulled me under. I burned every little detail about that night into my brain so deep it would never fade. The same thing I did with our first kiss. How many of my firsts are you going to claim San? I guess they were hers from the moment I realized I wanted to be more than friends.

An awkward 13 year old not fully grown into her long limbs and ever growing chest, I was much taller than her and she was still developing every curve that I now have perfectly memorized. Regardless of how awkward she says she looked, I thought she was beautiful just as I do now. After that first night I didn't know if I'd get another chance to have her like that again. After that first morning I was sure I wouldn't. After our first kiss she avoided me for a whole week before she finally returned my phone calls and pretended it never happened. I wasn't going to let that happen again though so the morning after our first time when I caught her staring at me at our lockers after cheer practice, I smiled at her trying my best to let her know everything was going to be okay. I guess it worked because everything was normal for a while until an argument turned into her climbing through my bedroom window and tumbling into bed with me again. She was gone by the time I woke up and I probably would have thought it had all been a dream if it hadn't been for the bruised skin on my neck where her teeth had left their mark.

The second time it had been harder to convince her that everything would be alright. In fact I had to go out of my way to make her feel comfortable again and stop the paranoia I could see starting to suffocate her. It took me kissing a football player who had been flirting with me since the first time cheer practice got moved to the field closest to the football field and letting him spread the rumor that it had gone further than that. The look in her eyes changed and things seemed fine again. School started and so did my slutty reputation. It spread like wild fire and while I should have been upset about it, I really didn't care as long as I could keep her in bed with me for just a little longer each time. She kept ending up in my bed and I would always go out and do something to make sure she felt safe from any rumors. It was wrong playing with boys the way I did but I was willing to do anything to keep her happy. We continued our dance until it started wearing on us both. I slipped up. I should have never suggested we sing together, but I was just so happy being with her, I didn't think it would be a big deal. I had already slipped up once before on the phone, but everyone assumes I don't know what I'm talking about. It's a good cover I devised when it all started, sure I've always been a bit quirky and strange but I amped it up to keep people from questioning anything I said or did. San had her methods, I had mine. The song suggestion went too far though, she snapped and honestly it felt like someone had punched me in the gut, she had never been so _blunt_ about us, sure it was implied but we never talked about it for a reason. I was hurt and angry and I'm not proud of what I did.

I didn't go after her for the first time, in fact I ran in the other direction.


End file.
